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| Facts |
1. If you want to lose weight or see your abs, you need to eat less.
Nobody wants to eat less or eat better, so if they want to lose weight,
they keep eating and simply exercise more. I know I did. I have been
aggressively weight training for 20 years and have experimented with
just about every way of training out there. I have done powerlifting. I
have done strongman workouts. I have done Crossfit.
I once did four major endurance events in two months, and I trained 20+ hours a week during that time. But despite all of that,
I only finally got a six pack when I got my diet under control and started tracking what I ate religiously using an
app.
There’s an expression that says “you can’t out-train a bad diet” and
one that says “abs are made in the kitchen.” Both are 100% true.
2. The best moneymaking and success strategy is to be awesome.
It’s amazing how many people fret about perfecting their marketing
strategy when what they have to offer is total shit. Sure, marketing and
SEO and positioning matter…
but only once you are producing awesome stuff. No matter how many times we talk about marketing funnels or KDP Select promotion strategy on the
podcast,
the bottom-line advice always boils down to, “Keep writing awesome
books that people love.” That philosophy applies to everything.
3. Most people are lazy.
People say they want to make some kind of a change. They get good, solid advice. Then they do nothing.
NOTHING.
In most cases, failure is not the result of outside influences. In most
cases, failure is due to a simple lack of effort. It’s an ugly truth,
but it’s the truth, all right: most people don’t want what they claim to
want badly enough to actually put in the work required to get it.
4. Guilt and regret won’t make your problems go away.
There’s no point in dwelling on bad things that happened or that you did
in the past. Most people feel that it’s their duty to dwell on guilt,
as if they’ll somehow be a horrible person if they refuse to keep
feeling guilty. It’s not true. What happened happened. Move on.
5. Bitching won’t make your problems go away.
This one is hilarious to see in action. Why does your father always
complain about his crappy car? Why does your neighbor complain about the
government and taxes? Bitching and complaining does nothing. Action
does something, but bitching is not action. Bitching is bitching. Yet
people do it fervently, as if they think that bitching enough will, by
itself, solve the problem.
6. Doggedly pursuing a stupid idea won’t turn it into it a smart idea.
I once tried to get a Ph.D in genetics. I hated my studies within a
month, but I told myself that if I just stuck with it, I’d eventually
love it and life would be grand. It didn’t, and eventually I wised up
and quit. One of the best aphorisms I’ve ever heard is from the movie
Christine,
when Darnell says, “You can’t polish a turd.” So stop trying. That turd
is a turd, and no matter how long you polish it, it won’t turn into a
shiny new Plymouth Fury. And sure, Arnie got lucky in the movie, but his
car turned out to be evil. There’s a lesson there.
7. You should always be yourself.
Ask any gay person if they’d rather go back into the closet and go back
to pretending to be someone they’re not. I’ll bet you don’t get a yes.
It’s always better to be open about who you are, what you do, what you
like, and what you want out of life. I don’t mean to open a can of worms
on this one, but sex is a huge issue here. We had a whole episode of
our podcast about this if you’re interested. Just be warned that it is
EXTREMELY NSFW AND NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN. (You’ve been warned;
click here to listen.)
8. Worrying is useless.
Worry is like bitching. It changes nothing, but we feel like we’ve got
to do it because if we don’t worry about something enough, it seems like
we’re being flippant. But try something for me: the next time you’re
worried about something, ask yourself how much the problem will improve
if you worry
really, really hard. That’ll fix things, right?
9. Most successes happen in small steps and take a long time.
This is the cornerstone message behind
my Everyday Legendary community,
which is filled with people who actually understand that most things
worth doing take time. Almost nothing happens in huge, gestalt leaps.
Want to become a champion ballerina or start a successful company? Get a
little better every day, then repeat.
10. You shouldn’t buy what you can’t afford.
Want that TV? Wait until you have enough cash to pay for it. Want to
take the vacation but need to borrow from your credit card (and then not
pay it off in full) to do it? You’d better wait. I’ve violated this
plenty. Sometimes, for necessities, it feels essential. I almost always
regret it.
11. Nobody is rooting for you to fail.
The world isn’t out to get you. There’s no point in pretending that it
is. People have their noses so far in their own business that they’re
not paying attention to you and your potential failure. You simply don’t
matter to them enough to root against. That means you’re free.
12. Nobody cares if you succeed.
This is the corollary to #11 above. Think Aunt Margaret will push your
new book to all of her friends? Think that famous person who could
really help you will hop on board with your fantastic idea? Nope. They
don’t give a shit. Not really. They have their own issues. Your
successes are up to you.
13. Nobody cares about your complaints.
I was once part of a group that really, really pissed me off. I made
sure I let them know why I was leaving, and how unwelcome I felt. I
didn’t think that they’d change and/or beg me to stay, but I thought
they’d at least express concern or regret, or at least register some
emotion. They didn’t. Same when my wife stormed out of a job under
shitty conditions. Same with a bank that had hideous service. And so on.
They don’t care, so make your feelings known… but then don’t expect a
reaction, and certainly don’t expect change or for them to make it
right.
14. There is very little that you truly need.
Food. Water. Air. Shelter. Those are the things you
need. You do not
need
a house. A cardboard box covering your head will do just fine. It’s not
ideal, but it will work. Most people inflate their personal cost of
living by turning things that they merely
want into things they feel they
need.
It’s okay to want things. It’s good to want things. But stop adding
stress to your life by equating your gym membership or your car to your
literal survival. If you lose most things, you and your family will
continue to live and will still probably manage to be happy from time to
time.
15. Everyone lives life according to their own rules, not yours.
Someone says something to you and you’re offended. You think they’re
being a jerk, because you have a personal rule that says, “If you say X
to someone, it’s because you want to insult them.” But that other person
doesn’t necessarily have the same rules as you have. They’re responding
according to
their own rules, and in all probability,
their rules say that they are responding appropriately. They may even think that
you
are the bad guy. So who’s right? Neither; you simply have different
rules. The sooner you realize that everyone is trying to do the best
they can in life with what they have (rather than going out of their way
to be mean to you), the better.
16. Clueless people don’t know they’re clueless, and never will.
If you’re aghast that someone is a total dipshit and feel the need to
show them the dipshit nature of their ways, don’t bother to try. It may
be super-obvious to you that you really shouldn’t rest your testicles on
the countertop while using the sink like some old men used to do at my
gym, but they’re never going to have that epiphany. They may change to
please you, but they will never think, “Wow, I was really dumb!”
17. It seldom makes sense to try to convince people you’re right.
I once heard Deepak Chopra call this as “the law of defenselessness.” It
basically goes like this: Have your opinion, but release the pressing
need you have to defend that opinion to other people. It’s fine to just
believe something and not spend a bunch of time justifying your point of
view, especially when the issue in question is just an opinion. (TIP:
Most things — including those things you’re certain you’re right about —
are actually opinions.)
18. You really can achieve just about anything.
It may take you a while, but you can in fact achieve most reasonable
things and plenty of unreasonable things. You’ll see that if you stop
deciding that things are impossible before even trying. (See also:
Everyday Legendary’s central premise.)
19. The people you look up to are just as nervous as you are.
Succeeding gets a lot easier when you realize that everyone who has ever
succeeded has doubted that things will work, has failed terribly, and
has generally been where the rest of are: worrying and certain that they
aren’t good enough. (Bonus fact: Those people you look up to also don’t
start being bulletproof and perfect AFTER they’ve succeeded. They
actually remain human until the day they die.)
20. Your worst-case scenario is seldom very bad.
Here’s a fun game: Ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen?”
about the thing that worries you most, and then keep asking it until you
can’t ask anymore. Then, when you’re at the bottom of that chain of
questions, ask yourself how terrible that end result would really be.
Here’s an example: I might lose my job > I wouldn’t be able to pay
the bills > I would lose my house and car > I’d have to declare
bankruptcy > I’d have to move in with mom/dad/grandma or bum on a
friend’s couch and have a bad credit rating. Now: is that scenario
really THAT bad? Did you die? Are you ruined forever and ever? Will you
be tortured? The truth is that most “worst case scenarios” are merely
inconvenient, uncomfortable, or embarrassing.
So that’s my list. What are some of yours?
